pretty, pretty everywhere

as a kid, i didn't delight in the summer... i know it sounds weird, but the thought of *not* going to school everyday used to drive me bananas (if i only knew then what i know now... which is there is nothing better than laying in the grass in the backyard and staring at the sun through the fluttering leaves and thinking about, well, absolutely nothing in particular).

for the record, i was *that* kid that joined the library reading program and not only read the amount of allotted books, but turned it into a competition to see how many i could read and report on... i think one year i got an award for breaking the record or something... oh what a little nerd!

i hated wearing shorts as i always found them too short, some bizarre color (thanks to my cousins who thought i was some sort of fashion experiment) and always riding up my bum. i was always dirty and sticky and sweaty... my parents would tell me to not come home until the street lights came on and i always had a scraped knee, a consequence of growing up on a street that was all boys except me. playing firefighter, doing very dangerous tricks on my bmx and touch football (oh, and the ever-phenomenal breakdancing competition) was my game and i stuck to it. my parents had this cream colored buick regal (and oh how i date myself)... a 2 door car with the *hottest, stickiest* leather seats ever. getting in that car after it sat in the sun was torture. once they "upgraded" to a minivan, i was stuck in the back with my brother's monstrous smelly feet and my sister's fascination with some nickelodeon-style bunch of singing adults that sang in wittle-itsy-bitsy kiddie voices while we drove to some place here or there... there were no DVD players or pimped out soccer mom rides... just the plain ol' voyager with the wood paneling and spoked wheels. rock on m and d!

i really just liked fall leaves and halloween and the first day of school better... getting my new school books and wearing sweaters and that first chilly, crisp morning at the bus stop.

**but** with homeownership came this really bizarre change. summer is the time of vibrant life and living in my little postage stamp size lot on this earth. here are a couple of the smiling faces i found in my yard last night to brighten my summer day (even though i *still* find shorts way too short)

i steeeenk

ya know, i do... i stink... or, more specifically, i stink at keeping up with my sad excuse for a blog. i've had a lot of shtuff going on. nothing bad, of course; just your typical, run around/crazy/creating more work for myself type of months. awesome.

kitchen is coming along (pictures will follow at some point i promise) but my biggest conundrum this week is that my 1/2 share of my csa is coming (yay!) and i'm not sure what i'm going to do with some of the things being sent... for those that don't know what a csa is, look here --> CSA

I'm psyched about the strawberries and all that, but the first four or so? Any recipes are welcome!!!

Bok Choi
Mustard Greens
Collards
Red Kale
Bunched Cilantro
Zucchini
Romaine Lettuce
Green Leaf Lettuce
Strawberries
Potted Herb Plant

the little things

on a dastardly day such as today, i just *had* to cheer myself up (if only enough to convince me that taking a shower was a good idea). here are some things i thought of today that make me happy... it's the little things really

1) that first day of the year, when as you step out of the shadows of your house, you realize that the sun is actually warm and toasty

2) the time of day just as the sunset peeks through our many living room windows and floods the house full of warm, soft light

3) the smell of freshly picked macintosh apples mixed with leaves on an october afternoon

4) my new pillow

5) waking up in the morning and knowing *exactly* what i want for breakfast and *exactly* what I'm going to wear

6) first flip-flop day (regardless of how flippety-floppity and unprofessional i sound)

7) getting home from work after the cleaner has been fussing about. there is not enough time or effort in the world that could get my house as clean as she does... and it's so worth it.

8) sun roof open: check; favorite sun glasses: check; jimmy buffett: check

9) waking up on the weekend and having no plans

10) my self-heating, big red fleecy blanket - on the couch - watching a good movie - with a pint of ice cream (that might be pushing it)

11) watching my garden take shape and change each year

12) watching my ass take shape and change each year (ok, that doesn't necessarily make me happy, but i couldn't resist)

13) reaching the end of that road race

14) mom's mashed potatoes (reference ass changing above)

15) dance class (shut up...you know you're jealous of me and my tap shoes)

16) the new girls...how could i forget?

:) those are just *some* of the little things

my life as a see-saw

i say that because everything in my life runs the full spectrum from one day to the next: mental "place," weight, energy, happiness, hunger, motivation... you name it. one week i'm *that* chick; hitting the gym each day, eating healthier, trying to earn some extra funds (through tutoring...which is generating enough fodder for an entirely different blog) and generally ok with myself. the next week i'm that *other* chick; wallowing in self-pity on the couch with a pan of brownies, my bills and my style network, wondering if this is all there is.

well, this week i'm *that* chick... which basically means i've been pushing myself probably a little too much (as an aside... having a protein shake and a bag of vegetables for dinner? not a good idea... just trust me, k?) i *do* feel better, albeit in the form of barely being able to climb stairs without physically groaning and having to lay the toothbrush on the counter and move my head back and forth to brush my teeth i'm in so much pain from weight training, but it's all good. (i keep telling myself, 'that's a good pain') ...right.

i must admit that i have been feeling on the overwhelmed side... i started tutoring a bit to make a few extra bucks (because there's always a need for those) and have been slammed with a tutoring schedule that eats into my personal time. i keep telling myself 'it's over soon, it's over soon,' but i'm kind of wishing for a few hours to myself.

p has been a trooper in trying to get the house back together. (pictures to follow) what started off as a simple 'oh we'll just paint and change the hardware and maybe the countertops' has turned into, well, more of a 'wait, where did we pack the forks' and 'just use the measuring cups as a glass until we can find the box' kind of project. i think i've actually gone beyond the 'overwhelmed amy' stage on this one and have learned to accept it for what it is....a mess that i can't do anything about at the moment.

i haven't been a great help (see tutoring above) but feel perhaps that best thing i can do when projects get more difficult is to walk away and shut up... i'm an inherent micromanager when it comes to stuff like this and we all know how that goes over :)

on another note, i'm finding more and more that i lack willpower (which i believe, may not actually exist). willpower: there has got to be a better way when the main reasoning for letting myself get a cookie at lunch is 'well, wonder if i get hit by a bus on the home... i'll never get to eat a cookie again.' what in the h-e-double hockey sticks is that anyway? am i just mental or do others feel that way?

oh well, i'm in a good place today... good pain, my nails are painted, i'm finally able to wear my comfy (although wrinkly) linen pants for the first time this year... and i even shaved my legs this morning. what a concept! :)